Oh my that was dramatic. I am still flustered as I document this event.
So for like three weeks now there has been a mouse living in my house. This is one bold mouse, too. He walks around like he owns the place.
Last week I ventured out to the store and stood staring at the array of mouse traps that there were to choose from. I decided to go the humane route and get one that doesn't kill the mouse, it just traps it and you let it go. Mistake. I did catch one, but freaked out when I had to let it go. I went outside with my gloves on ready to go and then just ended up throwing the whole trap in the trash can. The mouse sprung out at me just as I slammed the lid shut. I'm sure he got out and came back in the house too. I put the trap back later because apparently there was another mouse and I frequently saw him just walk right by it. He had figured me out. I finally got fed up and bought some good old fashion head snappin' mouse traps today. It was time to show this mouse whose house he was in.
I left around 9:00pm this evening to go watch The Hills with my lovely friends and when I came home I prepared myself to see if we'd had a catch. Trap #1 behind the door- clear. Trap #2 in the breakfast nook- clear. Trap #3 behind the chair in the living room...I think I see a tail...I think I see a little gray body....Ah I killed the cute little mouse!!!!!!!!!!! He was so small. He just wanted a little bite of the peanut butter that was laid out before him and then SNAP! right on the face/nose. It was very traumatic to see this.
Once I'd finished screaming and standing on the couch staring at it, my ever so patient fiancé had to talk me through the disposal of the mouse. It took quite a bit of talking too. I put a paper towel over the whole trap...backed up...bent down and reached...backed up...bent down again...had Alan count to three...twice, then I threw it in a bag and took him outside. Ha! Following that I had to clean his blood off the carpet. Sick.
So, that is my story. I wanted that mouse dead, but once I saw him lying there I shed a few tears and my heart was sad. It had to be done you say? Perhaps this is true, but if you just killed everyone that annoyed you in life you would probably be put in jail and you for sure wouldn't have very many friends. That is something to think about.
It was a lovely fall day. Alan and I, along with two of our dearest friends stepped back into time through the simple act of handing a man in tights an $18.00 ticket, that we got for free, and stepping across the threshold of time. The Kansas City Renaissance Festival is an experience like none other and I want to share our journey with you all.Before I begin, allow me to set the scene. Picture this...leather shops, beer stands, shirtless men, more push up corsets than you can handle, and the faint smell of pot hanging in the air. Ah yes, we had arrived. Goodbye 2008, hello 14th century!First of all I would like to explain the type of people who work at the Renaissance Festival. #1--Older people who really are talented, and enjoy acting, at a healthy level, in their spare time.#2--"The theater kid." You remember them from when you were in high school...playing a character, costume changes, stage names, and being on stage in the spotlight is their LIFE!!!#3--They wish that they had actually lived during this time period and may believe that they did at one time. They have their own costume for this event and constantly speak using Old English in their day to day speech. #4--"I thought I'd meet a lot of chicks doing this job." You know that guy. He definitely picked the wrong place for this...unless you dig chicks with horns. He just ended up being really sweaty and pushing little kids on the medieval swing all day.Now for the people who attend the Renaissance Festival:#1--Serious fans. They have a season pass, their own parking space, an "I am the Renaissance Man" t-shirt, and have the daily schedule of events memorized.#2--Theater kids who didn't make the cut. They show up in their homemade costumes and run around over using the Old English accent too loudly and attempt to show these people what they missed out on by not hiring them!! During our journey we saw an actual actor insult one of these types due to her lack of legitimate "Renaissance dialogue."#3-- Cute families with their kids on leashes.#4--Pot smokers.#5--People who got free tickets and didn't really know what the Renaissance Festival was, but didn't have any plans on Sunday so they figured they'd check it out. I'll let you guess what group we were in. Let me say though, we were not disappointed in our decision to attend this event. We were a little sad that we had forgotten to wear our capes, but satisfied none the less. I will just highlight some of our favorite moments.The first was definitely the axe throw. You literally paid two bucks to chuck an axe at a wall. Seemed dangerous. The Deeb had a great time watchcing the weaker people attempt this dramatic feat. It was pretty funny. They hurled those darn things as hard as they darn well could and the handle would just loudly hit the wall and the axe would fall to the ground. When my strong and handsome fiance stepped up you know he gave an impressive show. He stuck 2 out of 3. I should mention that we also payed to throw ninja stars. The guy running that station got so into his part that he decided not to wear deoderant. Just embracing the renaissance culture...can't hate him for that.The second event that is worth mentioning was the "Barbarian Warriors" section of the festival. Basically they give kids-of all shapes and sizes- a foam sword or axe, tell them not to take head shots, and release them into a fenced off clearing where they can just run around and "fight." This was quite entertaining to watch. Alan and I decided to train our kid to actually know how to sword fight, send him in there and let him DOMINATE everyone!! While he is in there we will go drink beer.And now for the grand finale event that pretty much gave us our renaissance fill for the next year...or two. A joust! This is when the Deeb got really excited and attempted to join the renaissance culture by taking his shirt off. It was back on in about two minutes. The Master of Ceremonies got us all riled up while we chose our favorite jouster, a kid in a cape/robe in the front row yelled constantly with all his might in his best Old English accent, and a woman in front of us educated us on how different this show would be than actual jousting. The Deeb wanted to see a for real joust to the death, but she insisted that it would be too bloody and that a lot of people would sue. (She was one of those "serious fans" that I described earlier.) Finally, the show began and despite our cheering, the jouster of Alan's and my choice fell from his horse. Then the tides turned and Sir Matthew arose and forced Sir Marcus, under the blade of his sword, to surrender his win and challenged him to a "joust to the death" at the hour of 5. Unfortunatley, we could not stay around for that.We took one more lap around ye old fair and then left the gates of the past and stepped back into 2008. Our world. Sometimes it is good to leave the world for awhile and experience something new with good friends. Just know that you don't need a cape, a corset, or pot to fully understand the people and culture of this time. All you need is an $18.00 ticket, a friend who is willing to take his shirt off for a few minutes, and a strong, handsome man who can chuck an axe into a wall. The Renaissance Festival will provide you with the rest. Hope to see you there next year.
