Party Throwing Etiquette

I don't want to brag or anything, but I think I am a pretty good party thrower. I'm sure that people who have attended one of our parties won't tell you it was the most crazy night they've ever had, but they will probably tell you they had fun and felt cared for. In recent years I have seen that many people think they are good at party throwing, but have a serious lack of party throwing etiquette and this really needs to be remedied before the art of throwing a party is completely lost. The following is not intended to offend those of you who have broken these simple rules of thumb. I am merely trying to inform you and turn you into a better party thrower than you think you are now.

The main issue we are dealing with here is food. It seems recently that any time anyone throws any sort of a party they always include this line on the invite: "BRING A SIDE TO SHARE." Seems like a great concept...it makes party throwing cheaper and easier, but this is not always ok and people are seriously abusing it. I will lay this out for you.

It is NOT ok to tell your guests to bring a side when you are throwing a party recognizing yourself such as graduation, being born, showers, weddings, going away parties, etc. If you want to throw a party to recognize yourself you provide the food and spirits. Could you imagine being invited to a wedding and being asked to bring the food? Wouldn't you just be like, "What? That is so rude!" Well, you're doing the same thing when you ask someone to bring their own food to a birthday/graduation party you are throwing for yourself. In these situations YOU are the host and the host should be responsible for food and drinks. The people you invited just want to come celebrate with you and be fed.

I've been getting a lot of graduation party invites lately asking me to bring food. This seriously makes me consider not going because I don't want to provide food for your celebration. Also, you have to keep in mind that some people have multiple graduation parties to go to in a day and we can't just buy 11 different sides and take one to every party we go to. Then you've also got people showing up who didn't bring anything and feel like they can't partake in the food that's there so they don't eat, get hungry, and leave crabby. No one wants that. They won't be back and before you know it you are tagged as 'the people who throw lame parties.' Also, lets just be honest...you never know what you're going to get if you leave the food up to the guests. You usually end up with 30 bags of chips, a liter of coke, and tons of dessert. If you're throwing a party you want to have a good, well balanced spread and the only way to control that is to provide the food yourself.

Don't worry...to all of you who will be attending our graduation party in a few weeks....food and drinks provided. Duh.

Now, sometimes it is ok to ask people to bring food to share. Here are some examples:

1) A spontaneous friend hangout dinner. "Hey guys, lets grill out tonite. You bring a side, you bring a dessert, you get the drinks, and we'll take care of the meat."

2) Tailgating.

3) Your bible study or small group decides to eat together one week. Every one shares in the bringing of the word. I mean the food.

4) You are throwing a shower for someone. HOWEVER...this is only ok if you limit the asking of people to bring food to family who will be there or the people who have volunteered to help you throw it.

5) Church picnics/potlucks

6) A family party or get-together

7) You and friends from class decide to throw a Christmas party. You can offer to have it at your house if others bring food.

8) A casual summer BBQ in celebration of nothing but friendship.

Also, if you have good friends who have good "party going etiquette" they will most likely say, "Is there anything we can bring?" Tell them that they are the most amazing friends ever and then have them bring something you need.

So you see? Sometimes it is totally legit. If you'd like to run a situation by me I would love to help you figure out if you are in violation or not.

Now onto the next order of business. (Also related to food.) If you throw a party during a meal time, you should serve an actual meal. If your wedding reception starts at 6pm you can't just give me cake. If you invite me over for a party from 11:30-2pm and all you give me is drinks and cookies I am still going to have to stop by Chick-fil-A on the way home and I will not feel cared for or fulfilled by going to your party. I will only feel cared for by the lovely Chick-fil-A staff. They always provide the food.

Ok, so I know what some of you are thinking. Well, some of you are probably thinking that I am a huge fatty and just want to get free food all the time. Could be true. Others of you are thinking, "But I am too poor to provide all the food. I want to have a party, but it gets expensive." There are a couple solutions here. #1- Have a party during a "not meal time," before 11am, 2-4pm or after 8pm, and serve small snacks. Appetizers if you will. That is totally fine. Guests shouldn't expect a meal, they'll still get a little food, and you can spend less money. #2- Throw a party with someone else. Team up with a buddy and share in the costs.

This may sound petty, but it really determines the greatness of your party throwing. People want to be loved. When do most Americans feel loved? When you give them food. Or beer. Just observe these basic rules and you will be good to go. Or you can ignore it, thats fine too. But I will not help you eat those 30 bags of chips you have left over. Those are all yours.

A Little Lost...

Oh hey.

Haven't blogged since May. Yikes!!

Here is the problem: Twitter.

Thats right, Twitter got me. The "theme" of my blog, if you will, has generally been that I take a funny moment from life and sarcastically write about it to entertain my lovely blog followers. The problem with Twitter is that I can now share those funny moments quickly and just as sarcastically without having to sit here and blog for an hour. (Seriously it takes me a long time to post one of these babies. I've been at this one for 45 minutes almost!)

So, now I feel a bit lost here. I like blogging a lot, but I feel that I have no theme, no inspiration. Ah what to do, what to do. What do other people blog about? Life updates, inspirational stories, travels, reality tv, photography, and my favorite- Crafts! I love those darn craft blogs.

I'll figure something out. Just letting you know what was going on. We'll just have to see what develops....

On a Serious Note

Just a warning...I am about to get super sentimental. Perhaps even boring, but I just need to express my feelings ok????

I left school today at 3:15 pm and it is just now sinking in that I don't get to go back there on Monday and I don't get to go back in the fall either. I have ended my time as a para at Rosehill Elementary. Here it is:

In 2007 I applied for this job because I needed to do something that would pay me money and there weren't any music therapy jobs anywhere near me. Once I got the job, I was happy to have it, but was bummed that I was only going to be a para. I wanted something more I guess. That first year I did everything I could to try and get out of there the next year. Well, here we are three years later and I am so sad to see my time at Rosehill come to an end. When you work with people and see them every day they become like family and I am so thankful for all the great people I met and gained friendship with. I mean, there were some crazies thrown in there, but everyone's family has at least a few crazies.

The hardest part is leaving the kids for sure. I was with some of them for the whole three years I was there and I got to see them grow in so many amazing ways. My time with them is summed up nicely with this quote from Arrested Development, "I like to think they teach me. " They also provided some pretty great stories that I frequently used to entertain all of my blog followers. I know that this new season in my life will bring more opportunities to learn, teach, and laugh, but today I am going to be sad. I'm sad that it is done and I'm sad that I won't see those kids anymore. They are the best.

Here is what I learned from working at Rosehill:

1. The bottom line is that you get into teaching because you value children and education. When things get tough take a moment to remember that.

2. Assume that you are the only one in a child's day who will show them love and respect.

3. Value the people you work with.

4. Every child has something to say, they just need someone to listen.

5. Our society is weird about hugs, but they are not bad things...if a kid hugs you (s)he probably needs one.

6. Laugh all the time.

7. Get excited about the small victories.

8. Relax.

9. Even when you feel useless, hopeless, tired, and frustrated, you can still be impacting someone.

10. You never know when it will be the last time you see someone. Always make the last thing you say count.

11. Leave people better than you found them.

12. God can use me anywhere...even if it isn't where I want to be.

Although I have learned these things I know that I do and will fail at them daily. I just pray that I would love my class every day for all of the years that I teach. The kids I will get in my classes are put there for a reason and I don't want to close out every year feeling like I could have done better. They deserve my best every day. I know I can't do that on my own.

I wish I could put some of the kid's pictures up here, but I don't feel like that is legal. So, to end I will show you some of my wonderful friends. A few of them threw me a Hawaiian style going away bash today and I love them!

April Fools! Or Not.

I have a minor fear of April Fools Day. I am always worried that someone is going trick me in a huge ridiculous way and I will look totally stupid in front of a lot of people. I sort of picture it as similar to being on the show "Punked." I don't mind a good "group fool," it's just the being singled out foolings that I am watching out for all day long.

This morning I was driving to work and was reminded by NPR that it was April Fools Day and my heart jumped a little. I had a pep talk with myself with reminders to be extra alert to possible April Fools tricks all day. DON'T BELIEVE ANYONE! I was prepared for the worst.

Upon arriving at school and interacting with a few kids, I realized that I didn't really have much to worry about. The kids seemed to have no idea how to execute an April Fools joke. I suppose I had my adult co-workers to fear, but not much can really be done because we all need to be "good role models" for the students, of course.

For this post I decided to share some of my favorite lines from April Fools Day 2010. I also provided some commentary following each quote. It should be noted that I did not verbalize any of these thoughts to the children. They remained in my head and now they will be just between us.

On my report card I got an F...April Fools! (Probably actually true.)

I finished my work!...April Fools! (This girl rarely finishes her work, so I was on to her immediately.)

My mom died...April Fools! (We had to talk to this girl about not using death as a joke and later I heard her change it to "My mom had a heart attack!" Guess we sort of got somewhere.)

You killed my grandpa!...April Fools! (I didn't realize April Fools jokes could get you arrested. That kid's grandpa gets murdered and guess who they'll come to first!)

Rock Chalk Jayhawk!....April Fools! (Ok, that is just rude.)

There is a plant in Mr. Myer's room...April Fools! (I have to admit, he did get me with this one.)

Do you see Derrick?...April Fools! (This one frustrated me because, yes I had seen Derrick.)

My mom has a candle...April Fools! (This one came from the same kid who made the plant joke...got me again!)

(Pointing down) Your shoe has...April Fools! (What? He was pointing at my shoe and talking about my shoe. Why wouldn't I look? The "made you look" jokes were the most popular today.)

I mean, you have to give them credit for trying. I think they sort of get the idea. If any of you have fears about April Fools Day, I would highly recommend working with kids. Even if it is just for this one day of the year. As you can see, they don't really get it. All you have to do is act fooled every time they say anything and look every single time they point at something that you know isn't there. You could even rename this day to "Made You Look Day" if that would take away some anxiety.

And I'm pregnant. Ha! April Fools! Did I mention that I don't really like fooling people either? I am already feeling bad for writing that and sort of want to delete it.

The Best Idea I've Had All Day

I was driving home just a bit ago and I was thinking...why don't police officers ever pull you over for being a good driver? No, I didn't get this idea because I was pulled over. I just thought that if I was a police officer it might be fun to pull over like every 15th good driver I saw. You know- someone driving the speed limit, wearing a seat belt, and not on the cell phone. I mean wouldn't that totally make your day if you got pulled over and you were like, "What the heck did I do officer? I wasn't breaking any laws." and he was like, "I know! I am rewarding you for being a great driver! Here is a free ice cream coupon!"

It has so many benefits if you think about it. Number one, the police officer's day is instantly improved. Instead of having to deal with people all day who are pissed at you because you pulled them over, you could deal with some happy friendly people who just got free ice cream! Second, we would be using positive behavior management. Instead of scaring people into not speeding by threatening the punishment of ridiculous tickets to pay that probably weren't included in the pulled over-ee's monthly spending budget, you would be encouraging people to drive well for a reward! Maybe the free ice cream or perhaps a cruise! It's like when you were little in school- sometimes the teacher gave candy to the kids that were sitting nicely. Didn't everyone try so hard to be the one sitting the nicest??? And third, self esteem and community love and unity would blossom! Everyone would be happy and they'd feel good for doing good. Regular people and the cities authority figures would become friends who worked together to make our roads safer.

I have often heard people say, "My boss never tells me what I am doing well. He/she just tells me when I am doing something wrong." This is pretty much a police officer's job description. Tell us everything we are doing wrong and make us pay for it. So why not let us know when we are doing things well once in awhile? Just a nice pat on the back for a great job driving safely and obeying the law.

If any of you have any police officer friends, pass this on. I think I'm onto something here.

Heating and Cooling Part 2

Yes, that's right...PART 2! I did not intend to have a part 2, but here we are. It is necessary.

Before I go any further, I need to make sure that everyone is caught up on Part 1. You can go back a few posts and read the details, but basically my school has been facing some major problems with the heating and cooling system this year. A few weeks ago we had rooms with temps in the 40's! It is ridiculously inconsistent and today's story will further prove my claims that this has gotten out of hand.

Perhaps you should sit down if you aren't already. Today a life was lost. One of the first grade rooms was 100 degrees when the teacher came in this morning and she found that it had literally fried the class pet. Mrs. G.'s guinea pig could not survive the harsh heat and he perished. Mr. Gary (our custodian) somberly carried the cage out to the dumpster this morning. The children watched, trying to understand and the teacher didn't know what to do. She was mad and sad all at the same time, spreading the word around school that her innocent guinea pig had indeed been murdered. Murdered by the "decrepit heating system that should have been replaced ten years ago." (Quote taken directly from the furnace repair guy.)

When is enough enough? Did it have to come to this? We lost one of our own and this could have so easily been avoided. He didn't even have a chance. Perhaps he died for good, though. His sacrifice has saved all the other classroom pets that dwell in our school. Once the other teachers heard the news they grabbed their goldfish, rabbits, and other class pets and ran with them from the building. Because of our little friend and his death, others have been saved. I don't even know his name, but I will always remember what he did.

You Can't Say That...1st Edition

I've decided that I hear people say a lot of ridiculous things during my daily escapades around life and I desire to share them when they are extra ridiculous. Hopefully I'll have a "You Can't Say That" post to contribute every so often.

For today's "You Can't Say That"...

Setting: Teacher's Lounge @ lunch

One of the aides was sitting at my table and talking about the earthquake in Haiti with another para. They were talking about all the pictures of devastation that they have seen on the internet and the aide said, "Truthfully, I feel worse for dead animals than I do for dead people because there are more people in the world."

#1 That doesn't make sense.

#2 She is a cat lady.

#3 YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!

Heating and Cooling

Typically when it is hot outside you turn on the AC and when it is cold you turn on the heater. Not too complicated right? Well, at Rosehill Elementary this concept has for some reason not been grasped yet.

Oh, the daily battles with the classroom temperature. It baffles me and makes me laugh all at the same time. The temperature in our building is usually on the cold side, but it really depends where you are. We have all learned to adapt by dressing in layers or by bringing a sweater just in case. The teachers used to do this trick where you put a wet paper towel on the thermostat. It really does make warm air come out of the vent, but it turns out that it then causes cold air to go into the room next door. Oops. Really gotta put others above yourself in that situation.

This winter has been a bit more extreme and harder to adapt to. Something is always broken. The district guys who fix the heaters have pretty much become a part of our school's staff. Most of the classrooms I am in have cold air blowing into them. I don't understand. It is freezing outside and so the air is on?? Sometimes I think there is some big shot at the district who just sits by the controls all day and when he gets bored he turns up the air to make us miserable. Our head custodian, Mr. Gary, is running around all day responding to teachers whose rooms are too cold or too hot. He has this sweet thermometer that he holds up in the air to find the temp. I think it is fixed because he always ends up telling the teacher that the thermometer reads 70 degrees or something, but we are all wearing three layers of clothing and are still cold.

One day, while it was still cold in most parts of the building, one of the kindergarten classrooms got up to over 100 degrees! All exaggerations aside- the kid's crayons were literally melting on the tables. Then there is my favorite room- the third grade math class I help with. For about five minutes the vent blows out freezing cold air. You can walk by and get minor frost bite. Then for the next five minutes it blows out wonderfully warm air and everyone is fighting to stand by it to warm up. The teacher in that class loves calling Mr. Gary in to check the temp and see how dreadfully cold it is, but of course by the time he gets there we are in the five minutes of warm air time.

The other day we came back from Christmas break. It was like 6 degrees outside and I was running to get into the school. I got in, breathed a sigh of relief, and took off my coat expecting to be embraced by the warmth of the building. The weird thing was that I still felt like I was outside. Then we all get an email that said five of the heating units are out. The principle didn't mention in that email how many units we have all together, so that could have been all of them, who knows. It was 40 degrees in some of the rooms! Everyone had on coats and hats, kids couldn't write because they had their mittens on, teachers pens weren't writing and their dry erase boards wouldn't erase. Everyone's favorite thing to do that day was to put their cold hands on your face to show just how cold their classroom was. I don't like that game.

During lunch one of the heater fixer guys walked through the teacher's lounge. Mistake on his part. The teachers swarmed him and asked what was wrong and when it would be fixed and so on. I over heard him say, "Well, the problem is that your system is decrepit. It should have been replaced ten years ago."

I guess these children and teachers will just have to keep suffering in the cold with our decrepit system because the government keeps taking money away from the schools and gives it to the big corporations who clearly need it more than we do. Ah, but that is for another blog post on another day. :) On the plus side for that heater fixer man, if we did have a better system, he probably wouldn't have a job.

Dear Heidi Klum,

I don't usually watch Project Runway, but I did catch the finale last night. My question to you, Heidi, is this- What the heck were you wearing?? Let me show you what I saw:

Yikes!! Who told you that looked good? They lied to you girlfriend. That reminds me of my mom going to work in the 80's. I will say that it does look better in the piture than it did on TV, but still shouldn't be happening. Aren't you like one of the leading fashion experts in the world? If this is what is in I must be way behind. I'm ok with that though. I don't want to think that is cute.

Oh well...better luck next year I guess.

Sincerley,

Jen "I just recently became ok with skinny jeans" Fogleman

Dear iTunes,

You are really going to make me pay 30 cents more to download certain music? I am writing just to ask why. I mean, are you hurting financially? Are the artists? I don't want to assume here, but I think you and all of your musicians are doing just fine. For example...I really enjoy Lady Gaga's new song "Paparazzi," but all of a sudden it costs me $1.29 to download and enjoy it? Does she really need that extra 30 cents from me? Do you? Really??

Oh my dear iTunes. I think you are scamming me. I think you know I like that song and assume I will pay anything for it. Well, you are wrong my friend. You are wrong. I pride myself in being someone who respects the work and talents of others and downloads music legally. You may now be driving me to do otherwise. We can't be friends if you are going to take advantage of me. I'm sorry. I just can't accept that.

Sincerely,

Jen "I just want to hear my jam" Fogleman

Aunt Jenny!!

My new baby niece, Kamryn Josephine is here! She is beautiful and precious and I already love her so much!

Just wanted everyone to meet her. :)

The Gorilla Pizza Challenge

If you walk into the Wheat State Pizza in Lawrence, Kansas you will see a 24 inch cardboard circle on the wall advertising their "Gorilla Pizza.'' If you let your eyes wander a little bit more you will see the sign that says, "Take the Gorilla Pizza Challenge!" Translation: Eat one by yourself in one hour and you will get $275.

Of course when my husband's dear friends saw this challenge last week, they were convinced that if anyone could do it, Alan could. On September 12, 2009 Alan walked into Wheat State Pizza and took that challenge. This is his story.

A preview of what is to come.

Buying the pizza.

The gorilla approaches!!

Bite #1

About halfway through plus some crusts...it's all strategy.

Alan's proud supporters (and sponsors for this event)- relaxing and eating pizza...leisurely.

"I'm going to eat your pizza!"

We knew we were losing him when he got into the 'resting on the table' position.

One of the final bites...

We kindly prevented Wheat State from having to clean the floor.

He did give that pizza hell though.

So, my friends, next time you see Alan Fogleman walking down the street be sure to pat him on the back and congratulate him on this incredible feat. No, he did not finish that gorilla pizza or walk away with any money, but I'll tell you what he did do. He took a challenge and he did not quit until his own body forced his hand. He filled himself with more pizza than any human should ever be filled with and he did it with dedication and integrity. His motto throughout this event is one that we should all be applying to our daily lives: "I won't quit. I will win or I will throw up."

It's Time to Say Goodbye to the Summer

This summer went faster than any summer I have ever experienced. Seriously, it feels like it didn't even happen. All of a sudden 9 weeks of camp went by and we only have one week left! Then I start school at KU and go back to work at Rosehill. Let's not rush though...we still have this week! I just wanted to share some of my favorite summer moments with you all. It was a good one!

I got to spend my whole summer with my best friend!! I also enjoyed making K-State people mad about how sweet KU is.




I also got to hang out with the best kids ever. This is us observing Camo Short Tuesday.





Who doesn't love painting faces at the Renaissance Festival?





Saturday staff lunches!






Being a pacman ghost. Ok, I am lying...I didn't enjoy being a pacman ghost. Everyone runs from you and it is freakin' hot under there!






Shaving cream wars!





Nightstrike with Elvis.




My other best friend came to camp!





Being a Spartan with Will Farrell.





Arguing with Andy daily. :)





4th of July with the fam.





Royals games!





Seeing the Fray!



There is a little taste of summer for you all. It was so fast, but so good. I think I will be ready to transition back into real life when it comes next weekend. Ten weeks of camp food is really doing a number on me.

Happy Trails

My parents do not like the outdoors. My dad is an adventurous man- he will hike, run, bike, kayak, canoe, or surf with the best of them, but he then likes to have a nice hotel room to return to with a bed. Don't bother asking mom...if it is even somewhat rustic she will think it is gross and awful. The closest we ever got to camping when I was younger was building a fort in the living room to sleep under. They wouldn't even spend a night with me at church camp...I had to be an adopted child of one of my friend's parents.

I do enjoy the outdoors and managed to experience camping with the help of those families that would graciously take me to camp and through those wonderful high school youth group canoe trips. Two weekends ago I took my first "no adults present" camping trip. Well, I suppose all of us that went were adults, but it doesn't seem that way. I still feel like a high school kid and actually get mistaken for one quite often. Alan and I went with 4 of our friends to Ponca, Arkansas to spend the weekend hiking, sleeping in a tent, sitting by the fire, the whole bit. It was fun, but I had no idea what I was getting into.

Sunday morning we got up and headed to a place that one of my friends had hiked many times before. Right when we started I asked him about the severity of this trail and all I remember about his response is that he said there may be some climbing. I immediately demanded his definition of "climbing." That could mean stepping over a tree on the path or it could mean we should have harnesses and helmets. He never really answered me.

For the next three hours we followed a creek (a very full creek) to a small canyon. There wasn't really a trail most of the time and we had to climb over huge rocks and trees and were crossing over the creek all the time. (I think I will actually call it a river from now on, I mean it was really full!) We tried to stay pretty dry by walking on stones in the river, but as you will later find out that was a waste of time.

When we reached the canyon we got to this rock face that was totally vertical and had a tree at the top of it with a rope hanging down. Ah, this was where the "climbing" came in. We had to hold the rope and climb up a vertical rock surface. Who put the rope there? Was this a joke that we were all actually trusting this rope and putting all of our weight on it to pull ourselves up??? I was a little terrified. Once we got past that we had to crawl up another practically vertical incline to get to our lunch spot. A few times we were hanging onto ledges while walking along a very thin one under our feet. When we were sitting up in this weird cave/canyon overlooking the trees below all I did was freak out about how we were all probably going to die on the way back. This was some extreme hiking!! I think I hid my fear well.

Once we'd finished lunch we tried to find out if there was a better way back. Mostly I just wanted to avoid that ridiculous rope. We saw a flat trail off to our right and hoped that would lead us down a better way. Turns out the rope would have been a way better idea! We followed the trail for awhile and just kept getting further and further into the brush. There was no more trail. We knew that we had to get down at some point- back to the river. So, when we saw an opportunity- a decline that didn't look as steep as the rest of the mountain we headed down. It was hilarious and ridiculous. We bushwhacked out way down a muddy hill covered with trees and poison ivy. People were sliding and falling and twice I was hanging from a rock ledge with my feet not touching the ground. We would slide into a tree to hold onto and then we would find the next closest one, slide again, and hope that we were grabbing for a tree that was rooted well. It was intense. (I wish I could paint a better picture of what this was really like. Whatever you are picturing as I describe this, multiply it times four. Put more trees and rocks in there. Maybe a steeper hill. Lots of water and wetness.) We were almost to the bottom and my dear husband slid and grabbed for one of those not-rooted-so-well trees. He went rolling through the mud down the rest of the hill and right into the stream/river. Amazing dismount off the mountain! The rest of the way back you could see how no one cared about being wet anymore. We just went straight through the river most of the time.

After six hours in the woods we made it back to the car- covered in mud and each of us having some sort of battle wound acquired from the hike. I want use a better word than "hike." It wasn't a nice little "hike." It was extreme trail blazing. Professionals would question our sanity. I was thanking the Lord that we all were safe at the end of that day. Perhaps you will think I am being dramatic, but we could have died multiple times that day. A good roll down one of them hills or a ledge cracking beneath you and its all over. What a day.

We were supposed to stay one more night, but we'd pretty much had our fill of camping at that point. We packed up camp, stopped at Quiznos, and headed home to tell of our adventure in the woods of Ponca, Arkansas.

I'm Sure it's Nothing

I have an anxiety about car problems. I fear my tire blowing out or the car breaking down leaving me stranded and alone on the side of the road, completely vulnerable to anyone who is driving down the road looking for a poor innocent girl to murder. I think about what I could do if this was to happen too. I have some escape plans in my head. I think about these things daily when I make the 30 minute drive to work everyday. All the way just hoping that I will make it!!! I have a problem, I know.

Well, today was almost the day that all my worst fears became a reality. Right as I was turning onto the highway that takes me out of Lawrence I heard a loud sputtering or rumbling sound. I turned down the music to listen and could hear it toward the back of the car. My first reaction is always to make up excuses....I thought it was the car behind me and then I thought maybe it was a helicopter flying overhead. Unfortunately, the sound followed me. So either I was being chased by a helicopter (which I might rather have happen) or there was something wrong with my car. I could tell it was coming from the back so I thought it was the tire. It couldn't be because the car was steering fine and it wasn't shaking at all. Since the car was moving fine and didn't smell funny I did what I do best and ignored it. I turned the music up and pretended like nothing was wrong. That always makes it go away.

I got to work on time and heard it again when I got into the parking lot. I pulled into a spot and got out of the car. I couldn't hear it. I stuck my head in the car and I could hear it. I turned the car off and the noise didn't stop. I was baffled. Now my thought was, "Perhaps I should move because I think it is going to blow up!" Out of the car I couldn't hear it at all. In the car I could. I opened the trunk and it was louder. I noticed that my little Rubbermaid box of instruments was moving! I was still baffled. (Not real quick on the up-take this morning.) I thought that whatever was making the noise in my car was making my box vibrate. I opened it up and found my car problem. It was the vibrating pen that I use as a drum mallet with some of my autistic kids in music therapy. It was just bouncing around the box. I felt kinda dumb, but mostly I was just extremely relieved. I am not getting murdered on K-10 today! Well, I do still have to drive home...

Just Catching Up

Man, this blogger world can get intense. I have people who follow my blog (who happen to be very close friends) threatening to take me off their blog rolls. Someone even threw a brick through my window with this note tied to it, "Post now or die." It is crazy.

In my defense, I would like to point out that my internet access is quite limited. My husband and I make so little money that we are actually labeled as living below the poverty line and had to give up certain luxuries such as the world wide web and all it has to offer. My apologies. This weekend however, I am dog sitting and living large! Internet AND cable! Woohoo!

So here is a quick run down of life since Christmas:

I was a bit busy getting married for awhile there. That was fun and it still is every day.

Then I had to go on this cruise for 7 days. It was just awful. So warm and sunny.

I moved back to Lawrence, the home of the Jayhawks! Alan and I are enjoying our little town home and Jayhawk basketball very much.

I've been commuting to work in Lenexa at Rosehill Elementary and doing music therapy around KC.

I applied for grad school at KU. (I don't know those people. They do look happy though!)

I've been keeping up on this season of 24. It is sooo good. I heart Jack Bauer no matter what anybody says.

I've also kept up on this season of The Bachelor. Mistake.

I decided to work at camp again this summer as this guy's assistant. (Although, I am having some doubts now because he was one who threatened me!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention any names though, of course.) Just kidding, Andy...I understand why you did it.

There we go. All caught up. I know it wasn't much, but I hope I have redeemed myself and mended the wounds that I created in my absence. It may take time to heal, but we will do it together. I won't ever leave you again.

Ok now lets get excited about March Madness!!!!! My favorite time of year! Go KU!

Joy, Love, Hope, and Pees

There are only a few hours of Christmas left, but I still wanted to wish everyone a happy one! I hope your day was full of good ol' family love and cheer. One of the kids that I babysit drew this picture and it cracks me up. I wanted to use it to convey my Merry Christmas message to you all.

Hope, love, joy, and pees...what more could ask for at Christmas time? Merry Christmas everyone!

Your Mama

I don't have to do much to keep myself entertained at work. As you may know, I am a paraprofessional at an elementary school. I work with the special ed kiddos and love it. They are so great. My kids give me a good story almost every day and even though I may present these stories to you with a hint of sarcasm, I truly do find joy in every one of these moments.

And with that serious note out of the way...on we go to the sarcasm part.

Today I was working with these two little second grade guys on their spelling and they started telling "your mama" jokes. Now, I realize that I should have done the right thing and told them to stop because what they were saying was inappropriate and disrespectful. Plus, we were supposed to be working. Well...I couldn't help myself. I had to listen and take notes so that I could share these harsh slams on moms with you all. I mean...we all used to do it right? Aren't you just the slightest bit curious as to how the "your mama" jokes have progressed since you used them? I am happy and honored to be the one to bridge the gap between generations for you all.

Here are the most frequent ones I heard from these two guys:

Your mama is so stupid she can't ring the doorbell.

Your mama is so stupid she doesn't know how to answer questions.

Your mama is so fat she doesn't know anything.

Your mama is so fat she doesn't know her ABC's.

Your mama is so fat she doesn't pay her bills.


And now....for my favorite...

Your mama is so stupid she didn't paint the wall green. (I never could figure out if he was actually saying 'Wal-greens,' but none the less, it still doesn't make a lick of sense.)


After that they just kept repeating the same ones over and over and eventually turned it into a song. At this point I realized that the moment had passed and we went back to our spelling lesson.

The Top Ten Things I Will Never Be Able To Do, Even If I Wanted To

Ah, my lovely blog followers, my deepest apologies for allowing so much time between posts. I hope Andy hasn't taken me off his blog roll...

My mom, sister and I just returned from a little Thanksgiving weekend trip to Las Vegas. They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but I found that, for me, it was more like, "The money you bring to Vegas to gamble with stays in Vegas." Obviously I didn't win any money and no, I don't have any stories that should have "stayed in Vegas." (I mean, even if I did I couldn't tell you.) Probably the best thing we saw there was Mystere, a crazy acrobatic show performed by Cirque du Soleil. I was sitting there in the theater watching these people do these crazy stunts and I realized...these are things that I know for a fact I will never ever ever be able to do in my life. It was ridiculous. So, I have put together this Top Ten list to both share my experience with you and to highlight how much cooler these people are than me.

And now...

The Top Ten Things I Will Never Be Able To Do, Even If I Wanted To:

#10- Wear this outfit to work.


#9- Ride on the back of this snail.


#8- Stand on a large ball for more than 2 seconds without even moving.


#7- Hold onto someone while swinging upside down a million feet in the air. (Ok, not a million, but it was freakin' high!)



#6- Swing and flip from bar to bar with multiple other people trying to complete the same task...a million feet in the air.


#5- Balance myself on one hand on a small platform...a million feet in the air.


#4- Balance a very strong man upside down on my shoulder. (And let's face it, I couldn't be the other guy either.)


#3- Hang very high in the air by one hand while using my feet to flip a large metal cube around.


#2- That.


And, the number one thing that I will never be able to do even if I wanted to is....




I can't even explain what is happening here. It is real though...I saw it.


There you have it folks. I know you thought I was talented, but I have finally found some people who can out do me. The pictures don't really even do these people justice. The things they could do were crazy!!!!!!!!

I suppose I shouldn't be so negative, though. Maybe if I start now I could do one of those things. At least get that outfit and wear it to work.