I'm Sure it's Nothing

I have an anxiety about car problems. I fear my tire blowing out or the car breaking down leaving me stranded and alone on the side of the road, completely vulnerable to anyone who is driving down the road looking for a poor innocent girl to murder. I think about what I could do if this was to happen too. I have some escape plans in my head. I think about these things daily when I make the 30 minute drive to work everyday. All the way just hoping that I will make it!!! I have a problem, I know.

Well, today was almost the day that all my worst fears became a reality. Right as I was turning onto the highway that takes me out of Lawrence I heard a loud sputtering or rumbling sound. I turned down the music to listen and could hear it toward the back of the car. My first reaction is always to make up excuses....I thought it was the car behind me and then I thought maybe it was a helicopter flying overhead. Unfortunately, the sound followed me. So either I was being chased by a helicopter (which I might rather have happen) or there was something wrong with my car. I could tell it was coming from the back so I thought it was the tire. It couldn't be because the car was steering fine and it wasn't shaking at all. Since the car was moving fine and didn't smell funny I did what I do best and ignored it. I turned the music up and pretended like nothing was wrong. That always makes it go away.

I got to work on time and heard it again when I got into the parking lot. I pulled into a spot and got out of the car. I couldn't hear it. I stuck my head in the car and I could hear it. I turned the car off and the noise didn't stop. I was baffled. Now my thought was, "Perhaps I should move because I think it is going to blow up!" Out of the car I couldn't hear it at all. In the car I could. I opened the trunk and it was louder. I noticed that my little Rubbermaid box of instruments was moving! I was still baffled. (Not real quick on the up-take this morning.) I thought that whatever was making the noise in my car was making my box vibrate. I opened it up and found my car problem. It was the vibrating pen that I use as a drum mallet with some of my autistic kids in music therapy. It was just bouncing around the box. I felt kinda dumb, but mostly I was just extremely relieved. I am not getting murdered on K-10 today! Well, I do still have to drive home...

Just Catching Up

Man, this blogger world can get intense. I have people who follow my blog (who happen to be very close friends) threatening to take me off their blog rolls. Someone even threw a brick through my window with this note tied to it, "Post now or die." It is crazy.

In my defense, I would like to point out that my internet access is quite limited. My husband and I make so little money that we are actually labeled as living below the poverty line and had to give up certain luxuries such as the world wide web and all it has to offer. My apologies. This weekend however, I am dog sitting and living large! Internet AND cable! Woohoo!

So here is a quick run down of life since Christmas:

I was a bit busy getting married for awhile there. That was fun and it still is every day.

Then I had to go on this cruise for 7 days. It was just awful. So warm and sunny.

I moved back to Lawrence, the home of the Jayhawks! Alan and I are enjoying our little town home and Jayhawk basketball very much.

I've been commuting to work in Lenexa at Rosehill Elementary and doing music therapy around KC.

I applied for grad school at KU. (I don't know those people. They do look happy though!)

I've been keeping up on this season of 24. It is sooo good. I heart Jack Bauer no matter what anybody says.

I've also kept up on this season of The Bachelor. Mistake.

I decided to work at camp again this summer as this guy's assistant. (Although, I am having some doubts now because he was one who threatened me!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention any names though, of course.) Just kidding, Andy...I understand why you did it.

There we go. All caught up. I know it wasn't much, but I hope I have redeemed myself and mended the wounds that I created in my absence. It may take time to heal, but we will do it together. I won't ever leave you again.

Ok now lets get excited about March Madness!!!!! My favorite time of year! Go KU!

Joy, Love, Hope, and Pees

There are only a few hours of Christmas left, but I still wanted to wish everyone a happy one! I hope your day was full of good ol' family love and cheer. One of the kids that I babysit drew this picture and it cracks me up. I wanted to use it to convey my Merry Christmas message to you all.

Hope, love, joy, and pees...what more could ask for at Christmas time? Merry Christmas everyone!

Your Mama

I don't have to do much to keep myself entertained at work. As you may know, I am a paraprofessional at an elementary school. I work with the special ed kiddos and love it. They are so great. My kids give me a good story almost every day and even though I may present these stories to you with a hint of sarcasm, I truly do find joy in every one of these moments.

And with that serious note out of the way...on we go to the sarcasm part.

Today I was working with these two little second grade guys on their spelling and they started telling "your mama" jokes. Now, I realize that I should have done the right thing and told them to stop because what they were saying was inappropriate and disrespectful. Plus, we were supposed to be working. Well...I couldn't help myself. I had to listen and take notes so that I could share these harsh slams on moms with you all. I mean...we all used to do it right? Aren't you just the slightest bit curious as to how the "your mama" jokes have progressed since you used them? I am happy and honored to be the one to bridge the gap between generations for you all.

Here are the most frequent ones I heard from these two guys:

Your mama is so stupid she can't ring the doorbell.

Your mama is so stupid she doesn't know how to answer questions.

Your mama is so fat she doesn't know anything.

Your mama is so fat she doesn't know her ABC's.

Your mama is so fat she doesn't pay her bills.


And now....for my favorite...

Your mama is so stupid she didn't paint the wall green. (I never could figure out if he was actually saying 'Wal-greens,' but none the less, it still doesn't make a lick of sense.)


After that they just kept repeating the same ones over and over and eventually turned it into a song. At this point I realized that the moment had passed and we went back to our spelling lesson.

The Top Ten Things I Will Never Be Able To Do, Even If I Wanted To

Ah, my lovely blog followers, my deepest apologies for allowing so much time between posts. I hope Andy hasn't taken me off his blog roll...

My mom, sister and I just returned from a little Thanksgiving weekend trip to Las Vegas. They say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but I found that, for me, it was more like, "The money you bring to Vegas to gamble with stays in Vegas." Obviously I didn't win any money and no, I don't have any stories that should have "stayed in Vegas." (I mean, even if I did I couldn't tell you.) Probably the best thing we saw there was Mystere, a crazy acrobatic show performed by Cirque du Soleil. I was sitting there in the theater watching these people do these crazy stunts and I realized...these are things that I know for a fact I will never ever ever be able to do in my life. It was ridiculous. So, I have put together this Top Ten list to both share my experience with you and to highlight how much cooler these people are than me.

And now...

The Top Ten Things I Will Never Be Able To Do, Even If I Wanted To:

#10- Wear this outfit to work.


#9- Ride on the back of this snail.


#8- Stand on a large ball for more than 2 seconds without even moving.


#7- Hold onto someone while swinging upside down a million feet in the air. (Ok, not a million, but it was freakin' high!)



#6- Swing and flip from bar to bar with multiple other people trying to complete the same task...a million feet in the air.


#5- Balance myself on one hand on a small platform...a million feet in the air.


#4- Balance a very strong man upside down on my shoulder. (And let's face it, I couldn't be the other guy either.)


#3- Hang very high in the air by one hand while using my feet to flip a large metal cube around.


#2- That.


And, the number one thing that I will never be able to do even if I wanted to is....




I can't even explain what is happening here. It is real though...I saw it.


There you have it folks. I know you thought I was talented, but I have finally found some people who can out do me. The pictures don't really even do these people justice. The things they could do were crazy!!!!!!!!

I suppose I shouldn't be so negative, though. Maybe if I start now I could do one of those things. At least get that outfit and wear it to work.