Party Throwing Etiquette

I don't want to brag or anything, but I think I am a pretty good party thrower. I'm sure that people who have attended one of our parties won't tell you it was the most crazy night they've ever had, but they will probably tell you they had fun and felt cared for. In recent years I have seen that many people think they are good at party throwing, but have a serious lack of party throwing etiquette and this really needs to be remedied before the art of throwing a party is completely lost. The following is not intended to offend those of you who have broken these simple rules of thumb. I am merely trying to inform you and turn you into a better party thrower than you think you are now.

The main issue we are dealing with here is food. It seems recently that any time anyone throws any sort of a party they always include this line on the invite: "BRING A SIDE TO SHARE." Seems like a great concept...it makes party throwing cheaper and easier, but this is not always ok and people are seriously abusing it. I will lay this out for you.

It is NOT ok to tell your guests to bring a side when you are throwing a party recognizing yourself such as graduation, being born, showers, weddings, going away parties, etc. If you want to throw a party to recognize yourself you provide the food and spirits. Could you imagine being invited to a wedding and being asked to bring the food? Wouldn't you just be like, "What? That is so rude!" Well, you're doing the same thing when you ask someone to bring their own food to a birthday/graduation party you are throwing for yourself. In these situations YOU are the host and the host should be responsible for food and drinks. The people you invited just want to come celebrate with you and be fed.

I've been getting a lot of graduation party invites lately asking me to bring food. This seriously makes me consider not going because I don't want to provide food for your celebration. Also, you have to keep in mind that some people have multiple graduation parties to go to in a day and we can't just buy 11 different sides and take one to every party we go to. Then you've also got people showing up who didn't bring anything and feel like they can't partake in the food that's there so they don't eat, get hungry, and leave crabby. No one wants that. They won't be back and before you know it you are tagged as 'the people who throw lame parties.' Also, lets just be honest...you never know what you're going to get if you leave the food up to the guests. You usually end up with 30 bags of chips, a liter of coke, and tons of dessert. If you're throwing a party you want to have a good, well balanced spread and the only way to control that is to provide the food yourself.

Don't worry...to all of you who will be attending our graduation party in a few weeks....food and drinks provided. Duh.

Now, sometimes it is ok to ask people to bring food to share. Here are some examples:

1) A spontaneous friend hangout dinner. "Hey guys, lets grill out tonite. You bring a side, you bring a dessert, you get the drinks, and we'll take care of the meat."

2) Tailgating.

3) Your bible study or small group decides to eat together one week. Every one shares in the bringing of the word. I mean the food.

4) You are throwing a shower for someone. HOWEVER...this is only ok if you limit the asking of people to bring food to family who will be there or the people who have volunteered to help you throw it.

5) Church picnics/potlucks

6) A family party or get-together

7) You and friends from class decide to throw a Christmas party. You can offer to have it at your house if others bring food.

8) A casual summer BBQ in celebration of nothing but friendship.

Also, if you have good friends who have good "party going etiquette" they will most likely say, "Is there anything we can bring?" Tell them that they are the most amazing friends ever and then have them bring something you need.

So you see? Sometimes it is totally legit. If you'd like to run a situation by me I would love to help you figure out if you are in violation or not.

Now onto the next order of business. (Also related to food.) If you throw a party during a meal time, you should serve an actual meal. If your wedding reception starts at 6pm you can't just give me cake. If you invite me over for a party from 11:30-2pm and all you give me is drinks and cookies I am still going to have to stop by Chick-fil-A on the way home and I will not feel cared for or fulfilled by going to your party. I will only feel cared for by the lovely Chick-fil-A staff. They always provide the food.

Ok, so I know what some of you are thinking. Well, some of you are probably thinking that I am a huge fatty and just want to get free food all the time. Could be true. Others of you are thinking, "But I am too poor to provide all the food. I want to have a party, but it gets expensive." There are a couple solutions here. #1- Have a party during a "not meal time," before 11am, 2-4pm or after 8pm, and serve small snacks. Appetizers if you will. That is totally fine. Guests shouldn't expect a meal, they'll still get a little food, and you can spend less money. #2- Throw a party with someone else. Team up with a buddy and share in the costs.

This may sound petty, but it really determines the greatness of your party throwing. People want to be loved. When do most Americans feel loved? When you give them food. Or beer. Just observe these basic rules and you will be good to go. Or you can ignore it, thats fine too. But I will not help you eat those 30 bags of chips you have left over. Those are all yours.

A Little Lost...

Oh hey.

Haven't blogged since May. Yikes!!

Here is the problem: Twitter.

Thats right, Twitter got me. The "theme" of my blog, if you will, has generally been that I take a funny moment from life and sarcastically write about it to entertain my lovely blog followers. The problem with Twitter is that I can now share those funny moments quickly and just as sarcastically without having to sit here and blog for an hour. (Seriously it takes me a long time to post one of these babies. I've been at this one for 45 minutes almost!)

So, now I feel a bit lost here. I like blogging a lot, but I feel that I have no theme, no inspiration. Ah what to do, what to do. What do other people blog about? Life updates, inspirational stories, travels, reality tv, photography, and my favorite- Crafts! I love those darn craft blogs.

I'll figure something out. Just letting you know what was going on. We'll just have to see what develops....

On a Serious Note

Just a warning...I am about to get super sentimental. Perhaps even boring, but I just need to express my feelings ok????

I left school today at 3:15 pm and it is just now sinking in that I don't get to go back there on Monday and I don't get to go back in the fall either. I have ended my time as a para at Rosehill Elementary. Here it is:

In 2007 I applied for this job because I needed to do something that would pay me money and there weren't any music therapy jobs anywhere near me. Once I got the job, I was happy to have it, but was bummed that I was only going to be a para. I wanted something more I guess. That first year I did everything I could to try and get out of there the next year. Well, here we are three years later and I am so sad to see my time at Rosehill come to an end. When you work with people and see them every day they become like family and I am so thankful for all the great people I met and gained friendship with. I mean, there were some crazies thrown in there, but everyone's family has at least a few crazies.

The hardest part is leaving the kids for sure. I was with some of them for the whole three years I was there and I got to see them grow in so many amazing ways. My time with them is summed up nicely with this quote from Arrested Development, "I like to think they teach me. " They also provided some pretty great stories that I frequently used to entertain all of my blog followers. I know that this new season in my life will bring more opportunities to learn, teach, and laugh, but today I am going to be sad. I'm sad that it is done and I'm sad that I won't see those kids anymore. They are the best.

Here is what I learned from working at Rosehill:

1. The bottom line is that you get into teaching because you value children and education. When things get tough take a moment to remember that.

2. Assume that you are the only one in a child's day who will show them love and respect.

3. Value the people you work with.

4. Every child has something to say, they just need someone to listen.

5. Our society is weird about hugs, but they are not bad things...if a kid hugs you (s)he probably needs one.

6. Laugh all the time.

7. Get excited about the small victories.

8. Relax.

9. Even when you feel useless, hopeless, tired, and frustrated, you can still be impacting someone.

10. You never know when it will be the last time you see someone. Always make the last thing you say count.

11. Leave people better than you found them.

12. God can use me anywhere...even if it isn't where I want to be.

Although I have learned these things I know that I do and will fail at them daily. I just pray that I would love my class every day for all of the years that I teach. The kids I will get in my classes are put there for a reason and I don't want to close out every year feeling like I could have done better. They deserve my best every day. I know I can't do that on my own.

I wish I could put some of the kid's pictures up here, but I don't feel like that is legal. So, to end I will show you some of my wonderful friends. A few of them threw me a Hawaiian style going away bash today and I love them!

April Fools! Or Not.

I have a minor fear of April Fools Day. I am always worried that someone is going trick me in a huge ridiculous way and I will look totally stupid in front of a lot of people. I sort of picture it as similar to being on the show "Punked." I don't mind a good "group fool," it's just the being singled out foolings that I am watching out for all day long.

This morning I was driving to work and was reminded by NPR that it was April Fools Day and my heart jumped a little. I had a pep talk with myself with reminders to be extra alert to possible April Fools tricks all day. DON'T BELIEVE ANYONE! I was prepared for the worst.

Upon arriving at school and interacting with a few kids, I realized that I didn't really have much to worry about. The kids seemed to have no idea how to execute an April Fools joke. I suppose I had my adult co-workers to fear, but not much can really be done because we all need to be "good role models" for the students, of course.

For this post I decided to share some of my favorite lines from April Fools Day 2010. I also provided some commentary following each quote. It should be noted that I did not verbalize any of these thoughts to the children. They remained in my head and now they will be just between us.

On my report card I got an F...April Fools! (Probably actually true.)

I finished my work!...April Fools! (This girl rarely finishes her work, so I was on to her immediately.)

My mom died...April Fools! (We had to talk to this girl about not using death as a joke and later I heard her change it to "My mom had a heart attack!" Guess we sort of got somewhere.)

You killed my grandpa!...April Fools! (I didn't realize April Fools jokes could get you arrested. That kid's grandpa gets murdered and guess who they'll come to first!)

Rock Chalk Jayhawk!....April Fools! (Ok, that is just rude.)

There is a plant in Mr. Myer's room...April Fools! (I have to admit, he did get me with this one.)

Do you see Derrick?...April Fools! (This one frustrated me because, yes I had seen Derrick.)

My mom has a candle...April Fools! (This one came from the same kid who made the plant joke...got me again!)

(Pointing down) Your shoe has...April Fools! (What? He was pointing at my shoe and talking about my shoe. Why wouldn't I look? The "made you look" jokes were the most popular today.)

I mean, you have to give them credit for trying. I think they sort of get the idea. If any of you have fears about April Fools Day, I would highly recommend working with kids. Even if it is just for this one day of the year. As you can see, they don't really get it. All you have to do is act fooled every time they say anything and look every single time they point at something that you know isn't there. You could even rename this day to "Made You Look Day" if that would take away some anxiety.

And I'm pregnant. Ha! April Fools! Did I mention that I don't really like fooling people either? I am already feeling bad for writing that and sort of want to delete it.

The Best Idea I've Had All Day

I was driving home just a bit ago and I was thinking...why don't police officers ever pull you over for being a good driver? No, I didn't get this idea because I was pulled over. I just thought that if I was a police officer it might be fun to pull over like every 15th good driver I saw. You know- someone driving the speed limit, wearing a seat belt, and not on the cell phone. I mean wouldn't that totally make your day if you got pulled over and you were like, "What the heck did I do officer? I wasn't breaking any laws." and he was like, "I know! I am rewarding you for being a great driver! Here is a free ice cream coupon!"

It has so many benefits if you think about it. Number one, the police officer's day is instantly improved. Instead of having to deal with people all day who are pissed at you because you pulled them over, you could deal with some happy friendly people who just got free ice cream! Second, we would be using positive behavior management. Instead of scaring people into not speeding by threatening the punishment of ridiculous tickets to pay that probably weren't included in the pulled over-ee's monthly spending budget, you would be encouraging people to drive well for a reward! Maybe the free ice cream or perhaps a cruise! It's like when you were little in school- sometimes the teacher gave candy to the kids that were sitting nicely. Didn't everyone try so hard to be the one sitting the nicest??? And third, self esteem and community love and unity would blossom! Everyone would be happy and they'd feel good for doing good. Regular people and the cities authority figures would become friends who worked together to make our roads safer.

I have often heard people say, "My boss never tells me what I am doing well. He/she just tells me when I am doing something wrong." This is pretty much a police officer's job description. Tell us everything we are doing wrong and make us pay for it. So why not let us know when we are doing things well once in awhile? Just a nice pat on the back for a great job driving safely and obeying the law.

If any of you have any police officer friends, pass this on. I think I'm onto something here.